its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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