It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
