I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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