five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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