I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
