i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize