Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize