so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
