thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
