I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
