i don't like sucking hair
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
