Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
