Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
