i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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