just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
