I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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