Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
