Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
