we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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