My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
