How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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