Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
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It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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