therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
