So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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