Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
