my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
