i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize