Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
