I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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