I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just cropdusted the office
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
