bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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