Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the condom got lost in my hair
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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