If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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