i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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