You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
