thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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