we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off