you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow