News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How does it feel to date your dad?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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