your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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