when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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