you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
