I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
