there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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