...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
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Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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