so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
