I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
