Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
