No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
