I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
