You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize