even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
