I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
