What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
