Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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