Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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