is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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